well after much hard work from a Rugo we got insurance approval for a new chemo regimen including avastin which she has had good luck in some patients with breast to brain. This disease is a monster, but if it buys some months that is a big percentage of the kids lifetime at age 9 and 12. Maybe no graduations but a few holidays? One hell of an emotional roller coaster for all of us juggle never knowing if it is weeks or monthS. So today we head to putt putt golf w Will and have lunch with the priest who married us and dine w good friends. One day of living until it ends. We met w palliative care and talked about the terrifying potential of losing coherency at any given time. Oh how I hope it is only at the very end.
Teach Your Girls Well? Well while sometimes it is good just to have mundane normal thoughts I have realized that the legacy of teenage eating disorder is a pathetic frustration with wanting my normal flat tummy and normal body. Let’s be clear that is not a good priority when your time is up. It is the time for nees and want, not should. 10 lbs doesn’t make you hAppier or better. Cherish your body as is and eat wholesome real meals with yummy full fat real sugar desserts. It won’t kill you. It will lift mental and physical weight and set the right example for you girls. Husbands get yourselves and families there with unconditional love and good clothes. We are given one body. I’m trying to say thAnks to mine for all its hard work. I spent too many years trying to fill emotional holes with food. Eating good food and meditating….way better. Actually fills a bottomless pit. Think of how hArd it works just to get me out of bed and to battle these medicines and poisons.! I hope so much that it can get me back on stage and to the recording studio while I’m still here to share the music. Thank you Creighton for loving me despite the cancer bAby and my beat sex of my life? Almost always at peak weights when I’m confident about my life and self . (Mom says TMI but you know me well) Give into that, enough preaching, but with our girls in impressionable ages we parents have big roles to play.
I truly don’t know how much time I have with 100s of lesions on the loose in my cerebellum, but I’m living until I breathe my last breath, and smiling my last smile. Love you all